Red Carpet Rundown: 2011 Grammys

Okay, I’m a little late with this Grammys post. Slag on me for it, but what can I say? Work got in the way (as it tends to do).

The Grammys are a different fashion event than other award shows. They’re not as serious; you can take a little more risk with your outfit choice. Be a little playful, daring, odd, etc. It’s not the Oscars— so leave the princess-y ballgowns at home and bring some steeze.

Let’s roll:

The Good:

Jennifer Hudson in Versace. Her body is sick, right? I loved this look— the navy looks killer with her gorgeous skin tone, and I loved the silver suspender-esque straps. It was a little S&M, but in a glamorous way. The shoes were perfect; love the strappy Loubs. She kept the hair and makeup sleek and let that bodice (body) do the talking. Nice play, J.Hud.

Julianne Hough in Malandrino. Gorgeous, gorgeous. The print on that dress is crazy, but still feminine and pretty. The deep V is great for girls with small chests (so jealous; bustier broads can’t pull this off, lest we look like full-stop skanks). The ruffles manage to flatter (rather than adding girth), and the sash around the waist nips things in and give the whole look a boho-kimono feel. Her hair and makeup are soft, and how amazing are her eyes?

Nicole Kidman in Jean-Paul Gautier. Amazing. Typically I’m either bored with Nicole or am turning my nose up at her granny gowns. But this is crazy. A few key risks— an ever-changing print, a fall-themed motif, ruffle detail. But here it totally works. She is tall and slim enough to pull this off, and I love that severe mermaid cut on her body. Especially dig the hair; she looks youthful (gasp!). One of my favorite dresses on the carpet.

Selena Gomez in J. Mendel. Little golden statue, yes? A little safe, but so pretty. I love the fabric— is it lamé? Normally lamé photographs kinda cheap, but this doesn’t. It looks rich. The soft gold is great against her skin; her hair is playful, young, super flattering. An updo would’ve taken itself too seriously.

Florence Welch in Givenchy. Okay, so this is maybe where we start fighting. I’ve slagged swan-esque gowns before this year, but I sorta loved this. I loved it more each time I saw it. It’s etheral, light and while the swam motif is not subtle in the slightest, the gown is still really beautiful. Somehow it’s not too in-your-face. I’m not a huge fan of Florence’s bangs, but that’s a minor issue. Overall, I loved this.

Heidi Klum in Julien Macdonald. Loved this dress from the back (was less impressed with the front view). Gold was a huge theme on the Grammys carpet this year, and Heidi was one of the best. The way the seaming of the gown gathers at the rump and flows down to the puddle train is super sexy. Love the simple hair and makeup; a smokey eye might have been too much.

Jennifer Lopez in Emilio Pucci. So sick. Her body is unreal. Crazy— and homegirl’s not a twig; she’s got muscle tone, you know? Love that. Jennifer looked like a fabulous disco ball, right down to her insanely gorgeous Louboutin heels. Look at that arch in her right foot. She’s posing hard, yet her face is relaxed. Nobody gives camera face like JLo. I want that face when I’m in my 40s. That hair, too, and those legs. All of it. Package it up; I’m buying.

The Meh:

Dianna Agron in Vivienne Westwood. This is Vivienne Westwood? This does not feel like Vivienne Westwood. This feels like overcooked spaghetti. I’m bored. All black? Really, Agron? I guess her style is a little classic-conservative, but this is the Grammys. Shell— step. Out. Of. And those basic black round-toes are making me yawn. Rock some kick ass studded stilettos, or something in a contrast color, please!

Eva Longoria in Ashi Studio. Was torn about this. The bottom half of the look is stellar— a structured mini with a touch of ruffle and flounce in a pretty cream color, Eva’s gorgeous legs and a killer satin platform pump. But the top? Ugh. First off, you can’t really tell if those ruffles are the material of the dress, or if its Eva’s ponytail. Those drapey chandelier earrings aren’t helping. Second, I wanted to see another color up top rather than basic black. Near miss.

Kim Kardashian in Kaufman Franco. Almost, KK. Love the deep V— but this totally illustrates my large-chest-small-chest theory. Kim’s big ol’ lady jugs push the fabric out too far and give the illusion that her waist is bigger than it is. A small-chested girl would pull this off without a hitch. The gold is a great color for her, but I wasn’t feeling it with the nude pumps. As usual, her hair and makeup are so beautiful— especially love the amped-up volume in her curls.

Ciara in Emilio Pucci. My problem here is not the gown. That Pucci gown is beyond beautiful— and the cut-out detail looks amazing on Ciara. My issue here is the shoes. They are way too heavy for the chiffon of the skirt. And they’re distracting! That’s the first place my eye goes when I see a full-body shot. Not how it’s supposed to work. Different shoes and this is a best dressed for me, but as-is and I’ll pass.

Miley Cyrus in Cavalli. Is anyone else annoyed that Miley was even there? I certainly was. Everything is too much here— the dress is too baggy. It hides her body, which I think is probably intentional because doesn’t her face look a little… Full? Perhaps she’s full elsewhere (munchies). The floor-length sparkles are overkill— bedazzled tiger print? Are you working in Vegas? The hair is too much. How many sets of extensions is she wearing? 15? The jewelery is too heavy— stop at two bangles, Miley, or at least keep it contained to one arm. The girl doesn’t know the meaning of moderation. That probably doesn’t just apply to her red carpet choices, either.

The Bad:

Nicki Minaj in Givenchy. I actually don’t have a hardcore issue with the outfit itself. It’s the Grammys, I get it, have a little fun with fashion. And if you’re expecting Minaj to show up in a pretty Lea Michele ballgown, you should rub a lamp. That’ll never happen. I take offense with her hair— why does one do this? Your outfit makes the statement; your hair detracts from it, pushes it over the top. Leopard-spotted afro-Bride-of Frankenstein Conehead? This doesn’t make sense. Nicki is constantly fighting her pretty (because girl is gorgeous). Part of me wants to see her embrace it a bit more.

Leann Rimes in Reem Acra. I typically enjoy Reem Acra. But I never enjoy Leann Rimes. She looks starving here. Her cheeks are caving in. This is made especially obvious by her hair, which is pulled back too severely. Leann’s face is all hard angles, so she needs soft hair and makeup to balance that business out. Fail. And do I see a heavy black shoe poking out from the bottom of that dress? If so, boo. It might just be a shadow, but I’ll slag on her anyway because she’s a desperate fame whore. Back to the dress. It doesn’t look like it fits, does it? The bunching at the waist looks a little much; like there wasn’t supposed to be that much material left to drape. A smaller size? Do they make a smaller size? Probably not.

Hayley Williams in Jeremy Scott. Flame red hair, red eyebrows, red lips. Glitter tank. Sheer panel at the tummy. And pink fur at the bottom. Why? She looks like she’s wearing a pink inner tube around her hips, beach style. Her hair clashes terribly with that pink. Also think her bangs are too short; they look like they’re running away from her forehead.

Rihanna in Jean-Paul Gautier. I wanted to like this. I kinda feel bad for not liking this, especially since the Grammys are about risks and crazy fashion (also: music). It’s edgy, it’s daring, and we all know that Rihanna has some steezy style. Girlfriend rocks stuff that you and I would be publicly flogged for wearing. But I can’t get the image of pipe cleaners out of my head when I look at this. It reminds me of a 2nd grade craft project. Can’t. Do. It.

Katy Perry in Armani. Right. She has wings on. Where does she think she is? Wings are not okay unless it’s a) Halloween or b) you’re at the VS Fashion show. Neither of these apply here. And the wings look a little budget, right? Hefty. Like she has a feather-hunchback. Wings notwithstanding, a few minor tweaks to the dress and I’d like it. The bra is a little too bulky. I get that Perry has ample artillery in the cleavage department, but this bra looks like somebody bedazzled an 18-hour Playtex. Shrink that down a bit and it’d be more flattering. The color of the skirt is interesting; all iridescent and really pretty against Katy’s porcelain skin. Points for trying?

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Those are my picks for best and worst. Did I miss anyone? Who did you love? Who did you hate?