Red Carpet Rundown: 2012 Golden Globes.

Finally! Award season. The time of year when the elite celebs emerge from their beach houses in Cabo and colonic spas ready to do battle– both on the ballot and the red carpet.

The Golden Globes were Sunday night. Big themes this year: nude, Grecian, plunging necklines. On the fashion front, who won? Who lost? Who was yawn-inducing?

The Best:

Nicole Kidman in Versace. This dress is gorgeous. I love the detail, the studs, that modified halter, the rushing, and that interesting grayish-blue color. I’m into all of it. The hair and makeup is lovely– especially for Nicole. I love it when she goes soft, rather than pinning and pulling everything back. Now if she would just lay off the Botox…

Emma Stone in Lanvin. Love, love, love Emma Stone. Her fashion choices are always interesting, and more often than not they’re pretty brave. Emma was part of an ensemble nomination for her role in The Help (not a solo nom), so a big, look-at-me dress wasn’t necessary. Instead, she chose this beautiful Grecian Lanvin number. Love the aubergine and crimson together, the hint of sparkle at the shoulders, the cutouts on the side and even the eagle belt. A fun touch. Emma wins!

Salma Hayek in Gucci. Super sick, yes? I loved this, especially the juxtaposition between the gold architectural bodice and the inky black sequined skirt. Love the way it shimmered when she walked. Ombré hair works well on her, don’t you think? So pretty. Someone please explain to me how Salma is 45 years old. How? So gorgeous, youthful, but not pulled and tucked.

Viola Davis in Pucci. Another Grecian gown that I’m in love with. Beautiful color. Love the braided belt and the gathered one-shoulder. Viola has great shoulders, doesn’t she? Super sexy slit. That shoe might be a touch on the heavy side, but it doesn’t detract from the overall look. Nicely done.

Elle McPherson in Zac Posen. Saw this and swooned. It could be because it’s slightly reminiscent of my wedding dress (6 months out, if anyone’s counting), but I absolutely adored this. A perfect shade of cream against Elle’s tan skin, interesting bodice that gives way to a skirt that hugs the hips before opening up into a shower of layered tulle. Love the bright bangles as an accent, and her usual blonde waves. Elle knows her best angles. Smart lady.

Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang. Every year I say something to the effect of, “Oh my God, her body.” But it’s so true– Vergara has curves for days and knows exactly how to accentuate them. This deep shade of teal is gorgeous, the bodice is well-cut and fits nicely, but the real show-stopper is the amazing skirt. Waves and waves of fabric layered and folded in that shade of blue reminds me of the open ocean. Incredibly well done, Miss Vergara.

Charlize Theron in Dior. Of course it was Dior. It’s always Dior for Charlize, the headlining face of the design house. We know how Charlize loves her oversized accents, so she wouldn’t be one to shy away from this gown. Let’s be clear– this dress only works on Charlize. For example, Emily Blunt (as beautiful and fashion-forward as she is), could not wear this with anything resembling success. Charlize has the height, the leg length and the confidence to pull this off. I love the pale pink, the plunging neckline and the train. Ethereal. Shoes are perfect; they coordinate without matching, and include a bit of edge (spikes on the ankles!) without distracting. A sparkly headband and low, unfussy hair was a good choice. Super-skilled red carpet performance.

Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci. The dragon of dresses. A legit fashion creation. Let’s tally it up, shall we? This dress has sequins, scales and feathers. I love how the halter starts off with black tulle, dotted lightly with teal sequins that thicken up at the waist. Next, straight up in-your-face green scales. Insane. Finally, gorgeous iridescent black feathers. ERW wears it all easily– the dress doesn’t wear her. Her hair might be a little matronly for my taste; I would’ve preferred her rough up that pixie cut a bit more. But overall, one of my favorite looks of the night.

The Meh:

Dianna Agron in Giles Deacon. Dianna’s trying to be exciting with her bright red laser cut swans, but it’s falling flat. The detail rides too high up on her neck (this was especially apparent when she was trying to give interviews and the swans kept bouncing against the hollow of her throat), and the ruffles on the top half of the skirt are giving me Valentine’s Day doily flashbacks. I do love the bright red though (and her matching lip).

Angelina Jolie in Versace. A red and white dress. In shiny silk. On paper, this shouldn’t work. On Angelina, it almost does. I like the flash of asymmetrical red fabric at the collar, the slit of the skirt and the choice of a red clutch and lipstick, but I just can’t get over the way the dress fits around her chest. Is it just me, or is it giving her a case of Robot Boobs? The waist is a little severe, too. Almost, almost.

Lea Michele in Marchesa. Part of this dress is really artfully done, and part of it is a mess. I’m a fan of what’s up top– I like the long sleeves, the silver embellishments and the way it manages to be both sexy and demure. The skirt, however, looks like an afterthought. Or worse yet, a mistake. There are small patches of sequins that seem to missing, others are turned up and muddle the line. If this was intentional, it doesn’t look it. The gown is too long in the front, which caused Lea to trip and fumble with it down the carpet.

Sarah Michelle Gellar in Monique L’huiller. I don’t want to do this. As I write, I’m still not sure I made the right choice. I love, LOVE the pattern of this dress. So original, so gorgeous, love the deep cobalt against the stark white. But remember on the playground, when you would to tie your sweatshirt around your waist during a particularly sweaty game of kickball? That’s what the gathering around the hips looks like. Too bulky on petite SMG; she’s not tall enough. (She’s not Charlize!) It pains me to put Buffy on the Meh list, but it must be done.

Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen. Almost, Reese. Great color on her. LOVE her hair; easy beachy waves work really well here. But the bust of the dress is done poorly. From some angles, Reese’s chest looked lopsided and about to fall out. The saggy fabric just below the bust is a sign of a bad fit. The lines over at the waist look okay here (mostly because she’s standing at an angle and has her hands on her hips), but they made her look really thick live. Also, the puddle of taffeta at the bottom disrupted the way the skirt fell, making it look messy.

The Bad: 

Kelly Osborne in Zac Posen. It’s not really the dress. I take that back– it’s the dress, but not entirely. I don’t like the way the neckline curves to the back in front of the sharp shoulders. I don’t like the seams that run under the bust and into the armpit (not flattering). I don’t like how low on the torso the belt sits. But the color is pretty and the trumpet skirt is well executed. The big offense is Kelly’s hair. IT LOOKS LIKE A GRAY SWIMCAP. I’m not sure in what universe this is considered attractive.

Jessica Chastain in Givenchy. Is Jessica 58? I don’t think so. She’s new on the scene, and she’s wearing my Grandma’s dress. Again with this too-low-on-the-torso belt. Why? Gives the illusion of wide hips, which I’m sure Jessica doesn’t have. The color is a little flat, especially in a sea of more interesting nude dresses. It washes her out. And that hair. Please go to your nearest Bingo hall with that hair.

Natalie Portman in Lanvin. I don’t understand the bolt of fabric sticking out from her bum. Also, a silver shoe with this? Natalie is such a beautiful girl, you can’t tell me this was truly the best option offered to her. Question your stylist. (Or get one.)

Frieda Pinto in Prada. Great color. Amazing jewelry. I don’t completely hate the cut, but I do feel like the waist rides a little high for petite Pinto. (So many waist issues this year, no?) My chief complaint is the fact that the fabric looks like a Best Choice-brand dinner napkin. Look at it– see it? Right there, next to your plate, acting as a little bed for your knife and fork, waiting for you to have a spill.

Naya Rivera in Vera Wang. This is Vera? I don’t believe it; I want to see the tag. Would Vera run a cheap looking seam down the center of a flat silk dress? Also, that collar. That collar looks like something my Cabbage Patch dolls sported in the early 90s. Naya is so pretty, yet she seems to miss more than hit when it comes to fashion, no?

Andrea Riseborough in Vivienne Westwood. Vivienne Westwood is offbeat and unexpected. This dress is both of those things, but it’s also ugly– and that’s a big problem. I like the shape of the bodice, but this weird muted seafoam green is throwing me off. (The color also looks like it might also glow in the dark.) The skirt looks like a faded, dingy shower curtain straight out of 1960. Gross. Andrea Riseborough deserved so much better.

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Those are my picks! Who did you love? Hate? Who are we fighting about? Let me know in the comments.