Fashion Week Musings

Ahh, Fashion Week.

Whether it’s NY, London or Paris– the outfits, makeup, hair, and accessories are guaranteed golden entertainment.

The good:

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Jessica Stroup. Black lace (and lace in general) is huge right now. Love the sheerness around her shoulders. The dress is short without being too saucy, and the belt brings an edge.

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Kate Bosworth. Love the nude, love the off-the-shoulder, love the red wedges and red lip.

Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net
Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net

Nicole Richie. And only Nicole could pull this off so effortlessly. I love the denim (and faded!) shorts with black tights.  Her legs look 8 miles long! The whole outfit is offbeat and fabulous in that boho way she does so well.

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Rachel Zoe. Love the tweed jacket (Chanel?) paired with nude suede over-the-knee boots. And a Birkin. Please.

There’s this Rachel/Nicole Phenomenon, don’t you think? They can pull off outfits that normal humans (or even other celebs/stylists/designers) cannot. Stuff that would look ridic on you and me looks no-brainer effortless on them. For example, me in a pair of denim shorts and tights? Or over-the-knee pale suede? Please. I would get laughed out of the wine bar/Target/mall/wherever.

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Victoria Beckham is one who can do no wrong for me. Sometimes she’s chav (less so lately, see circa 2006), but most of the time she’s this perfect mix of trendy and classic. I love her spin on the standard black pants + black blazer combo. And blue-capped Calypso Loubs!

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Molly Sims. This is how you do a white (possibly summer) dress in the winter (complete with a pile of snow in the background). Perfect blazer— love that she went a little boyfriend-y here rather than cropped. The pop of color with her earrings is a perfect touch, too.

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Zoe Saldana. She’s been hitting it hard since the Avatar promo tour. And I adore practically everything she wears. This structured LBD is fab.

The bad:

Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net/Flynet
Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net/Flynet

Katie Holmes. A wool duster? Really? She looks like one of those people on stilts at the circus. An Hermes circus, but a circus nonetheless. Or maybe like one of the guards from the Wizard of Oz?

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Kelly Osborne. Love this color (as we’ve established)— but not in a shiny tafetta. Also not with purple gloves. And is her dog pulling at her collar or is that supposed to be the neckline? And not the headband. It’s all really severe against her fair complexion.

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Whitney Port. This confuses me, because there are so many elements I like about this— love her smoky eye, love the heather gray + aqua combo, love the shoes. But hate the way it looks in this weird baggy tee and harem pants outfit. It makes her look way wide, and maybe like she pooped her pants.

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Annalynne McCord. If someone this tiny can’t quite pull of a bubble hem, then no one can, okay? And what is on her feet? They look like the might be black booties with a cuff around her ankle, but they also kinda look like she’s wearing studded hooves.

Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net
Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net

Olivia Palermo. Usually, I’m an Olivia-fan (of her wardrobe, that is). She’s a beautiful girl with quirky-classic taste. But this is… Off. Not loving these pieces together– the draped tie-dyed chiffon dress is awkward. Maybe as a stand-alone? And the jacket– what is that print? Evil triangle heads with teeth? It’s a miss.

Image courtesy of SuperiorPics Forums
Image courtesy of SuperiorPics Forums

Shenae Grimes. Oh man. Dig the blazer, but not belted with that giddy-up monstrosity. Harem pants– go away. And I don’t know what’s happening with those shoes. Again– too old.

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Mena Suvari. Too busy! Too much! Too shiny! The scarf is okay (maybe, it’s a little cheesy), but way overpowering. Is it eating her neck? I don’t like the shine on that jacket, although the three-quarter sleeve is interesting. But with a leather dress? No. A little painful to look at, don’t you think?

The unexplainable:

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

JWoww. I’m not going to take the time to google her actual name (do you know it, anyway?).  This is either Ed Hardy or knock-off Ed Hardy. I don’t know which is worse. And do her legs have scales?

Image courtesy of People.com
Image courtesy of People.com

Gaga and Cyndi Lauper. Gaga uses fashion as part of her artistic expression (in the truest sense of the phrase), which means the girl just doesn’t put on a pretty dress. I applaud that. But this is still unexplainable. I fear for her life in those insane platforms. PS– although the tights are weird, Cyndi’s legs look amazing.

olsen-twins

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Olsen fashion is like granny boho or something. I don’t get it. But I don’t think I’m supposed to get it– I think it’s intended to be a level of fashion that most are not enlightened enough to appreciate…? Therefore, unexplainable. Anyway, Mary-Kate looks like she’s wearing my monkey fur coat from Gadzook’s (7th grade, don’t judge me) and Ashley looks like she just bought new dobbers to go play bingo with the other retirees.

Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net
Image courtesy of Celebrity-Gossip.net

Annalynne McCord. Again. This wasn’t taken at a fashion week function (occurred during FW, but actually at the premiere of Shutter Island). But what in the Matrix hell is she wearing? Cheap PVC pleather jumpsuit that screams, “Take the red pill, Neo.”

And with that, I’m exhausted. 😉

What do you think of the outfits profiled above? Love? Hate? Thoughts, comments– bring ’em on. Would love to hear from you.

0 Comments

  1. I hate that Annalynne McCord found herself on the Bad and the Unexplainable list. She is GORGEOUS but dang that girl does NOT know how to dress! Maybe she should take home some clothes from the 90210 set and wear them in real life!

    And JWoww… really you’re going to wear that in public?

  2. Um, one word: wow.

    To both the good and the bad. The good was great, loved the lace, LOVE the cobalt/black combo. The layers are cute, but like you said- impossible for any normal-not-Nicole-or-Rachel to pull off. Although, if someone could give me some advice on how to make my legs appear that long, I’d try anything… 😉

    The bad was bad; the unexplainable terrible. There really are no words for Gaga, ever… Even though I envy her ability to try anything, I could/would NEVER even think to put that stuff together, let alone wear it in public. And, wayyyyyy agreed on the harem pants and bubble hem. Both terrible and need to die off.

    Loved every bit of this, it’s beyond entertaining. I have begun “whoring” this website out to my PT girls, so you may have some new comers! 😉

  3. WOW…good post!
    Have to agree with the majority of your picks on this one.
    I always love Jessica Stroup but Shenae Grimes is just pure disappointment here!!
    Love your cheeseburger theme! 🙂

  4. “What in the Matrix hell…”

    Laughed out loud at this.

    And I must cop to secretly love JWoww because she wears stuff I never, ever would… And still manages to get invited to Fashion Week.

  5. I’m really scared of the Olsen twins. Actually, I’m scared of everyone on the Unexplainable list!

    My favorite is Molly Sims- she looks so beautiful here. I need to do this more- boyfriend jacket with short LBD/LWD. Do you know who makes her shoes? Must have those shoes!

  6. First off, I LOVE READING THIS!!! I just added it to my list of favorites, and will be checking it frequently 🙂 Second, I decided after reading this that I HAD to have the blue capped Calypso Louboutins that Victoria Beckham is wearing. Yeah, that was until I went on a rapid online hunt for them and realized they are $3600. Haha. xoxo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.